Hey y’all,
I want to talk about how I am piecing together all my traits that I thought were normal, but now that I am discovering my mental health, I am associating with my (what I thought was minor) anxiety. And no I did not have to WebMD this to figure it out. Unfortunately these are all very common signs that I basically ignored for 23 years.
For example, when I was younger (and still to this day) I would get these excruciating stomach aches right below my ribs forcing me to spend my night throwing up, just to sleep it off to be fine the next morning. Anxiety.
When I do anything at all out of my comfort zone, even the smallest tasks, I shake, even if it’s a new and exciting adventure that I am looking forward to. I shake. I acknowledged the shaking throughout my life during these times but it was such a normal thing I never thought anything of it. Nope, low and behold, anxiety.
The insomnia that led to constant bags under my eyes and the late nights of my brain refusing to shut off, anxiety.
I could never figure out why I have all of these big plans for myself and all of this ambition with no motivation or discipline to back it up. Anxiety.
And yes, I was that child that cried every birthday because I was one year closer to death. Anxiety.
All of these things were norms to me and I never questioned any of them, well except the last two. And slowly, now that I am older, I started accepting the fact that I am indeed a pocket full of uneasiness. That is right, somebody call up Natasha Bedingfield because we are rewriting that hit and appealing it to the other anxiety ridden folks like me. It doesn’t have the prettiest ring to it, but I bet it will capture the hearts of many.
Quite honestly I don’t even know the purpose of this post. Maybe it is to acknowledge that it’s okay not to be okay as long as you know at some point you have pick yourself up and do something about it. Maybe it is for me to fully accept I definitely am struggling more than I realized. Or maybe it’s to let others know that they aren’t alone even if anxiety hits them differently.
What I do know is, it’s late and my mind wouldn’t shut down until I got it out. So with that being said, good night and good riddens my fellow angsty peeps!
This has been your daily dose of Vitamin C!