Hey y’all!
You read that caption right. Three years of long distance that led to us planning the wedding of our dreams. That is not the outcome most people expect because long distance has such a negative connotation paired with it.
However, I don’t define our relationship by the miles between us. I define them by the three years of effort, dedication, understanding, trust, love, and so many more words that brings a smile to my face.
So, yes. Distance does work and can be the most positive and loving experience if you allow it. Here are the things that Junior and I do to prove that it can be.
- TRUST. This one has to come first because even before your likeness turns to love, you have to trust. When you enter a relationship it’s an unspoken rule that you have to trust them until they give you a reason not to. Unless they give you that reason, you don’t need to waste time worrying about the what-ifs. ALSO, if you are dating someone who has insecurities (we all have them and that is okay) still be open and honest and trust they will understand and hear you out. There are two sides of trust and both are important. I trust Junior will tell me everything and he trusts I won’t freak out about the things he tells me (and vice versa).
- UNDERSTAND. Understand that they can’t always be reached or contacted. Understand that things come up and push visits, Skype calls, phone calls, and dates back. Things happen and happen out of our control. Junior and I were only supposed to be long distance for 2 years and life happens, and opportunities come up that we just can’t turn away. Here we are, going on three years, but are still so happy. So, understand these things are nobody’s fault and encourage them to keep pushing on.
- SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE. As mentioned, opportunities will be thrown in reach of your significant other. Opportunities that may pull them away or pull them away for longer periods of time. However, as their partner you have to encourage them to take it if they want to. You are with them to love them and loving them means encouraging them to do what they love, even if it’s hard on you. But this leaves no room for resentment later in life. Going to Florida was HARD for Junior and I. He knew I really wanted this, and I couldn’t say no, but I was willing to for him. He cared for me enough and told me to go and I love him even more for that. Support them, love them, encourage them, care for what they want and help them achieve it.
- COMMUNICATE. With this distance comes a communication barrier. Don’t let the barrier grow because it will if you let it. Make time to talk to one another. It sounds silly to plan Skype or FaceTime dates, but it’s really going to determine how serious you both are about one another. If y’all learn to prioritize time to talk, you will learn to prioritize what you talk about and when. That is important later in life when you need to have serious and hard conversations.
- MAKE TIME. Making time doesn’t necessarily mean visiting one another (which is important), but making time to communicate, support, encourage, understand, and trust. Make time to be that person for your significant other. Distance allows you to get caught up in your own world and forget to take the time to ask how your partners day is going, but you can’t. Care enough to make time, no matter how busy your life gets. The weirdest part about distance is you are in a commitment but living as an individual because you can’t see the other person all of the time. Just remember it is temporary.
I am not a love expert, but I know what works for me and Junior and this is it. I hope this makes the miles between you and yours feel a little smaller. Believe me trusting and having faith can go a long way. For goodness sake, I’m getting married! Please don’t be discouraged by the two words that do not define the success of your relationship.
This has been your daily dose of Vitamin C!