At what point in life do you realize you have flown overboard? Mine would probably have to be the stress-induced sleep insomnia, constant worry sessions, and lack of relaxation that has been going on for the past 3 years. Yes, I may be a little OCD or may have a severe case of anxiety, but when is the day that you have to tell yourself “QUIT DOING THIS TO YOURSELF?”
All my life I have stressed about things I couldn’t change at that specific time in my life. When I was was really young it was the fear of death and the fact that you can’t escape it. My early teens brought fear of college and the unknown of my future. Late teens continued on with the fear of what comes in my future but add on the piles of debt that I have to save up and pay off with all of that, too. Now as I am in my early 20’s I find myself stressing about finding a job, debt, love, marriage, kids, friends, family, car, house, bills, and the balance between all of these, as well.
I knew life was going to be a hard concept to grasp after college, but with someone who worries as much as I do, it’s even harder than I imagined. Not because of all of these larger than life decisions, but because of the worry that I attach with them. The unnecessary worry that leaves me close to tears every night because you just always feel like you are never one step ahead, but six so far behind.
As I sit and type this, I have to remind myself:
I just graduated from college, with TWO full Bachelors Degrees, in a span of 3 years. I am slowly working on my debt each and every day. I prioritize my family and the time I can spend with them. I found the love of my life and marriage will come with time, kids falling right behind that. Car, house, and bills are just a part of life and I will come to terms with how I can make all three of these things fit into my financial agenda. There is no need for me to be worrying when I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be. I am taking these steps in larger strides than most at my age without even realizing.
As a worrier, these fears and stresses just come naturally, and for those of you who suffer from these large stress sessions, you’re not alone. And, because you are not alone, remind yourself to take a breather sometime. I know this is an irrational thing to say to someone who spends their late nights worrying about the world, but it’s still something to be said and reminded.
Y’all take the time in a day to meditate and clear your mind. Life continues on whether we like it or not. So here is to the many more nights of worrying, but the great successes that come from them. You are exactly where you are supposed to be at this given moment.
This has been your daily dose of Vitamin C!